Do You See What I See?

Never have I looked to the next year for salvation. It is not that I haven't had low moments, and yes I know that there is someone reading this rolling their eyes at my definition of "low moments", but this is my story. I will not sit here and bear my soul in all its entirety these next 12 months, but I will do my best to be transparent. Without admitting struggle I cannot change or grow and that's my reason for this adventure. However my heart is in my chest for a reason, to protect it from outer harm, and I intend to keep it safe by maintaining some barriers between it and this world.

I intend to change starting January 1st and, like I've stated, it is not because I currently do not like who I am. It is more because I will change whether I take control of my life or not. We all start pure with our paths in life, more or less, undefined. We begin wearing unfiltered glasses to help us see the world for the first time. As we meet new people, learn new skills and have new experiences we grow. Our heart and mind hold on to these items and films cover our once clear lenses. I don't think it's worth the effort, or possible in most circumstances, to wipe off this coating. That layer has been built for a reason and it now changes how you see your world so that you can become more of yourself. This allows for you to see a flower and a wall and a baby different than I do. Based on what you were born with and what has happened to you since that day, we will never be the same. And that is beautiful! 

What a wonderful opportunity that we all have to share our views with someone else and enhance their perspective. I see perspective as this... Imagine if I was born on an island where I have to stay forever but my view is always staring at the Caribbean sea and you in similar circumstances but staring at the rolling hills of Ireland. Each view stunning in their own regard, but wouldn't it be amazing to see both? In this analogy, we can't leave. Just as we can't truly alter how our minds see our world. However, sharing perspective allows us to do just that. I may never leave my island, but my friend could share the shades of emerald shining from that Irish land and I could appreciate more of the world thanks to them. 

Every single one of us are our own being and every day we evolve more and more into who we will become. There is no end game, there is only what you put out into the universe and how you help shape others into their potential selves. A year from now, I will not be who I am today and I intend to grab onto the wheel with two hands. 

I've defined my next 12 months based on categories where I've found opportunity and I am excited. Truly. 22 years old and here I am grabbin life. I am technically lying in bed, but my mind is all that little girl standing on the bathroom counter shouting about how much she loves her life into the mirror. She gets it. Life IS freaking great if you just take a second to appreciate the little things, like loving up on your haircut and pajamas. I am not overly religious or spiritual, but to some extent I believe there is a purpose for all of us already defined. I believe each of us has someone at the end of our lives who we COULD become. Someone who has faced countless set backs, but has accomplished more than our now selves could ever even dream of accomplishing. BUT I don't believe that everyone becomes that person. Becoming someone we will be proud of is hard and terrifying. 

I have a good idea of what I want to see in the mirror at the end of my life. What I would have liked to have achieved so that the wrinkled eyes staring back at me are proud of the life I've lived. I like to live with that mindset, that the only person I am trying to impress is that woman. Every set back I face, I let her be my motivation. Some find it lonely once they realize that the only person who will always understand and be there for them until their last breath is their self.. but I find calm in knowing she will be there in the end.

Next month, I'll let my body do the talking... More details to come. But now that's enough about glasses, it's time to fill mine with champagne! 

I Don't Have Commitment Issues... Thanks To You

My freshman year of college I lost 25 pounds. My sophomore year of college I built a team of a dozen peers and lead a very successful direct sales team. A few months back I trained for 13 weeks and ran my first half marathon. Last year I gave up coffee for Lent and did not cheat once. Why am I giving you a laundry list of random recent accomplishments? Because there is a single reason that those were all not only goals I set, but fully committed to and succeeded at. Why were these goals different than the countless others my mind has dreamed up? I made public commitments to you. "You" meaning not just myself... I put my goal out there into the universe. After it escapes my mind, it truly does not matter if my progress is followed intricately by 40 friends or celebrated with a high five from a family member at the finish line. Once it's out of my mouth and written down it is real and it has expectations that mean something.

I'll be the first to say that I am my own harshest critic and I am not one to give up easily, but I accredit almost every large success I have had to other people. Not always their physical role, but the fact that I told another soul my intentions. Many of you have seen your friends on social media post that they are quitting a bad habit or getting a gym membership and proceed to  ask your computer screen why they feel the need to share... I am guilty as well. Most of the time, I am also guilty of allowing my own selfish reasons prevent me from encouraging them in these new endeavors.

The scene plays out as so... Status of random Facebook "friend" that I haven't seen since high school "Announcement all, I am starting Paleo for humanitarian reasons. Please post below any recipes you have! So excited for this journey!"... I can't tell you how many one liner jokes come to mind when I see this on my feed. Even though I have considered pursuing a similar dietary move, for similar reasons, almost weekly myself. Why is poking fun my natural inclination? Almost certainly insecurity. Stemming from fear and lack of willpower to do the same. This stranger has chosen to share their new goal, which most likely scares them, with all of us via social media. How brave! Who knows whether they are looking for supportive advice or encouraging words or, like me, just need to tell the universe so that I am held responsible. Social media has a bad rep and for many good reasons, but for this I'll defend these platforms. As humans, we have a need to connect with others and sites like Facebook allow us to do this. We all spend more hours inhabiting these spaces then we will admit... and I do not see that changing on a large scale any time soon. Let's all do our part to put a little more good energy into these social sites instead of complaining about the negatives. If you were really that "anti-social media" then you would not be posting a status about it. Since you've chosen to spend your time scrolling why not use minimal effort to encourage someone. Be the positive difference instead adding more negativity to our newsfeeds.

In conclusion, let Jen go vegan and Steve quit smoking and Jackie start Crossfit. They set a goal and have taken the first step by putting it out there and telling a friend or their 1000 friends on social media. I can speak from experience, when I say that public commitments have made all the difference between goals I have set and goals I have accomplished. Give them the thumbs up instead of the middle finger and maybe they'll do the same when you decide to pursue your next adventure.

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Speaking of adventures.... starting January 1 I will be going on my own. A journey I am bursting with excitement to journal and share. 2018 will be the year of my very own Happiness Project. Modeled after the book by Gretchen Rubin. My short synopsis of this read is.. Though she was a successful career women with a beautiful, loving family she commonly found herself stressed, argumentative and unappreciative. She didn't live with happiness as a high priority and as an avid researcher she decided to learn as much about the subject as possible. After months of collecting information and self reflecting on her very own happiness-hurdles she set a 12 month plan. Each month was given a broad subject like "January, Vitality: Boost Energy" with smaller steps under each larger focus. At the end of the year and her book.. well you'll have to read it yourself to hear the result... BUT I was inspired to do the same. Until I closed the cover and returned back to my day-to-day with not much more than a few small "happiness tips" implemented into my life.

I graduated last May and for the past 6 months I have been adjusting to my first full-time job and living back at home with my parents. For lack of better words, both aspects of post-college life are "great". I have a loving family, a supportive boyfriend, a cuddly dog and a job that provides me constant excitement and challenge. I can hear you all now... yeah, yeah that's nice Kirsty. So what's the problem? That's just it!! I haven't been able to put my finger on it and for someone who has never found words very difficult, this has been frustrating. I completed Gretchen's book months ago, but for the first time... the lightbulb clicked. This feeling I can only describe as 'uncomfortably comfortable'. I have determined that comfortable makes me itchy and stir-crazy and leaves me with a gross taste in my mouth. So I considered moving out... and booking a few long trips... and returning to school... and getting another dog. Well that all seemed a immature or unrealistic for the time being, as I am a recent grad with minimal resources. So how could I get out of my own way and continue to grow as a person while living back in my childhood room? Shake things up a bit. So I've done it. I have set my very own 12 month plan...

Details to follow.